I come to you with a happy and full heart today, but I must say, it has not always been that way. At least there has been an enormous transition in my spirit and soul. When I came to move through this dynamic of having this illness [AIDS], I knew music would be my salvation. I did not know consciously that it was because it had a specific vibration I was able to bring into my being day after day. I experienced depression, pain, and changes in my body I did not want to go through, and music became the sole salvation to get me through the situation.
Because of music, in some ways I had a much better experience than others with this disease. On the other hand, there was much judgment passed on me, and there were people endlessly seeking stories for the media. I became an object of pursuit and not in a happy and joyous fashion. It took great effort for me to hide, and eventually, I chose not to face the public.
The music went on, and I made it so. It became my reason for living — my purpose and all that I was here to do and be. Everything else, even though distracting and sad, was secondary. Of course, most people would not have understood the dichotomy within me, for it was enormous. Luckily, I was given the strength and the will to move forward, and I had enough people around me to add levels of protection so that I did not have to face these situations by myself. At times it seemed like that, but I have learned that I was not alone.