It was about 11:00 at night, and I was shutting down the lights to go to bed. As I walked into the kitchen, I froze. There was a tarantula the size of my hand in the middle of the floor. Oh my God! Oh my God! After a moment of panic, the rational part of my brain broke through my terror and told me that I had to deal with it. But how? My usual procedure with spiders is to turn a glass over them, slide a piece of paper underneath, and gently place them outside. That wasn't going to work with something this size! There is a tarantula in my kitchen! Oh my God! Oh my God! Even though I know that tarantulas are harmless, some deep primal fear made it hard to think. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a quart-sized yogurt container in the dish drainer. This still wasn't wide enough to come down over the tarantula, but, taking a deep breath and summoning all of my courage, I approached the tarantula with the container and cover and scooted him inside.

As I held the container closed, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. There is a tarantula in my kitchen! Oh my God! Oh my God! Now what? The closest door went into my garden, but I didn't want to have him living out there! I made it to the front door and across the driveway to the front yard. By now I had used up what was left of my failing courage, so I dropped the container on the ground and ran back into my house and locked the door. There was a tarantula in my kitchen! Oh my God! Oh my God! I felt violated, vulnerable, and alone, but I was too full of adrenaline to cry. I thought about calling someone. No one I knew who could comfort me would still be up. It was only a big spider, after all. Don't be a wimp! Go to bed.

I made my way to the bedroom, nervously checking every shadow and running through terrifying scenarios in my head. What if there were more of them in my house? What if more were going to come in during the night? What if I got up in the middle of the night and stepped on one? There was a tarantula in my kitchen! Oh my God! Oh my God! I crawled into bed, pulled the covers tight around me, and hugged a pillow for some small comfort. After asking the angels to protect me, I fell into a fitful sleep. Around 3:00am, I had a nightmare. I dreamed that I was forced to watch someone I loved being tortured and mutilated for acting against the authorities. I went to speak out in protest but was pulled back and warned, "No. Be silent!" I woke up nauseated and in a cold sweat. My physical discomfort and the horrific images I had witnessed had me wide awake. I appealed to the angels to fill me with their love and light and to help me understand what was happening to me. I was finally able to sleep again.